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May 19, 2004

It Probably is Fair

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It's not fair, I haven't even had a comment in what seems like weeks. This entry started out as a whine, and it's still a pretty good one.

In my parenthood excursion, I came across a Weblog Review . It listed the components of a good blog. (I can't find the exact clickie) Their first point (my attention span was too short to digest any more than one, oh well) was that a blog has to identify its author, or at least his or her point of view. I realize that in my whining, I had written a pretty good description of Dakota essence. See how the universe helps, if you just follow your feelings?

A WHINE or A STATEMENT?

The name, Dakota Feinstein came to me in a loose association. I think it's funny, but could be misconstrued as serious. This is intentional. After the name came to me, I began to say that I was going to write a book, and call it "Dakota Feinstein's Spiritual Journey". I like the new age first name and the Jewish last name, in counterpoint, as well as the picture it evokes. I may have to take on a mystical middle name at some point.

When I started this endeavor, I was completely anonymous, because I project shame and humiliation into every new experience, due to early trauma. Anonymity just seemed safer. After a few months, I did tell a few dear and close personal friends what I was up to. I remain anonymous because I write things here that many people would be better off not knowing, as in, you don't want to think about your parents having sex.

I try to publish interesting photographs that illustrate synchronicity and beauty. I've stopped with the dead fish, for the time being. I cover culture, inside looks at seminars, shamanism, energy healing, spiritual journeys, spiritual teachers, intense conscious and unconscious emotions and thoughts, aging, aesthetics, pressing questions, lunacy and what I do with mine, politics and most recently, perversion.

You know, whatever comes into my head.

I have even received continuing education credits for learning some of this stuff. I am about to start Tai Chi for little old ladies who want to increase their goddess energy. See what I mean?

I try not to be boring, to use clickies for astonishment, intermittantly reinforcing the reader's quest for further iinformtion. I try to to keep my sense of humor and awe, and stay at the curious edge of my disbelief as I experience fourth dimensional goings on. Really, what more can a girl do?

Just looked at the list above and said to myself, "No wonder only a few people read this blog?" Who can take it?

In the past I would have said alot more about what I "do" rather than about how I be. This is a blog about coming into being -- doesn't that sound pretentious?

As a friend said to me yesterday, hoisting me gracefully on my own pitard, "When the universe wants people to read your blog, people will read your blog ".

Well, I drew a big crowd for the distribution of the Dakota Disposable Camera and the triple goddess wedding , but, statistically, it's been lean pickings ever since.

I shouldn't be negative. I should get into the energy of abundant readers and then see what happens. An experiment to see if Esther Hicks, channeling Abraham is right.

I just imagined myself being influential or even being read more widely. I don't think that's what I really want. I think I want to banter with a few people--possibly interact. Come to think of it, even that could be intimidating. Why do I think I want recognition? If I recognize myself, and that I am creating whatever I can in my little corner, and tossing it into the evolving universe to expand consciousness, that's plenty. It's actually a big committment. I need to be fine doing it for the sake of doing it -- give up on that other stuff.

I resolve to be thrilled to have created something with my thoughts and feelings over time. Maybe someday, when my attention span elongates, I'll be able to read ihat I wrote, rather than just look at the pictures.

Photo note:The photo isn't that great, but the title rocks, " Narcissus with the Blues".

Addendum: I posted an entry out of order, sorry. It's the one with the flying fairy godmother, two doors down, just in case you missed it. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. Sometimes I'm just like a kindergartener at Show and Tell.

Addendum #2: Just as I was writing this, I received a valuable contribution from my nettie friend Margaret , who always waters me when I am wilting.

Posted by Dakota at May 19, 2004 05:40 AM