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January 31, 2004

Female Aggression


Ah! Click here to see a creative female use of the blog in combat, girly style. I have been rather critical of male aggression here on this blog but that 's because they are making such a mess out of the world right now, I take that back, they have been making the same kind of mess for quite some time, over and over, but now they can affect more of the world, more seriously. Lives are being lost to death and, of utmost concern, trauma. Trauma produces tramatized, individuals who raise their children in the energy field of victim/perpetrator, fight/flight/freeze. A few generations of this, and there are hardly any good energy fields on the planet in which to raise children. Then the dark ages set in, we lose consciousness and have to start all over, oh well. It would sure be fun to see what would happen next, if we stayed on the consciousness path a little while longer. If we need a map, the Hebrew Alphabet, and it's encoded explanation for the structure of energy in the universe, seems like a pretty good one.

Dakota, Dakota, remember the cycle. Sometimes a big dark thing will inspire the biggest, brightest light, but there has to be balance. Rather if we aren't afraid to shine the light of consciousness onto the darkest part of ourselves, we may retrieve all of who we really are -- sometimes the most creative parts of ourselves. So all those guys out there doing destructive things are helping us build a desire for the light that is more powerful than ever. In non dualism ,( really have to read something about this before I go off) - there is no light or dark, good or evil. It is the action between the energy and the container that leads to resistance and then to life in existence. And it's happening all the time. Too bad we're not taking better advantage of the option to live in joy, because we do not know how to get to there.

But, as usual, I digress. I was going on about female aggression, which I know a little about. Sometimes women use their unique weapons of mass destruction when they are roused. Their tactic is to cut off energy and sever connection. Many have found it particularly effective, in relation to the opposite sex, to cut off second chakra energy. Cutting off sex really hurts the guys whose chakras are out of balance (most men between 14 and 55), and makes them pay attention. As men begin appreciate pleasure derived from other chakras, the heart in particular, things will get interesting. Appreciation for the energy of other chakras may only come when the testosterone machine slows down. Unfortunately, that scares the guys (because they think there is nothing else, read death) Currently, they are very relieved to have Viagra, so they won't have to face the dark unknown, and develop in other areas. No one is talking about giving up sex, just exploring all the possibilities. That's what Tantric sex is all about. Celibacy doesn't work all that well, as we can see from the great Catholic Church experiment, but balance and continence do, and should be encouraged. Elmer Green writes quite a bit about his exploratons in this area in The Ozawkie Book of the Dead .

Back to the ladies. Cutting off verbal communication is another thing women do when they aggress. Guys like that better. They often prefer that state of decreased verbal interaction, because they were not socialized to communicate in an intimate relationship, and don't feel competent doing it . Relief comes to the guy when the talking stops, since he no longer has to confront what Berger calls "male relational dread". But beware, the consequence of not communicating with a woman is that the commmunication goes elsewhere, and public humiliation or loss of the relationship sometimes ensues. eg the above hypertexted blogger taking her point to another arena. This is not to defend women who do this.

Cartoon seen: woman in a transparent negligee standing seductively in front of a TV football game. Husband fixated on TV. Caption:" He thought if he bought her a see-through nightie, he'd still be able to watch the game. " I'm not sure this is related, but it's funny.

I once sat with someone whose mother wrote a book about being married to a man practicing a particular profession (his father). It was a wonderful example of public humiliation. Fortunately, it wasn't a best seller. The book is full of terrible complaints about being victimized as a wife of someone in this profession, and the reader knows exactly upon whom she would place the label perpetrator.

Aside: His father was dense, but quite a well intentioned soul, so we wondered about the etiology of all the vitriol. We parsed the book, examining all the projections it contained, and were able to put together a picture of his mother's unprocessed aspects. Then he figured out what happened to him at the hands of her unprocessed aspects. Now, whenever he gets scared in the present, he comes and sits around the campfire while we figure out what happened to the aspect of himself, caught in the past, that's causing him to project something frightening into the present.

My particular unprocessed feminine aggression usually takes the form of the sadistic ice out. A plain ice out means not speaking to the person with whom I am angry. A sadistic ice out is one in which I not only don't speak, but I fill the energy field between us with wishes that the other person will suffer the same feelings I am currently suffering, as a result of their (ostensibly hurtful) treatment of me. Admittedly I am usually thinking about turning up the intensity of the pain by about 20 percent ---the percentage can be adjusted as needed. It's not pretty, but it's what happened to me, and if I don't watch out, I'll just pass it along. I'm trying to teach that part of myself to talk about the hurt rather than act it out.

Rachel Simmons in her book "Odd Girl Out: the Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls" brings to light the weapons that girls use in their aggression toward one another. It all takes place in the arena of connection and communication, like cutting a friend out of a clique.

Posted by Dakota at January 31, 2004 09:13 AM