Dakota

Today is Halloween. I saw a white cat in a a yard full of Halloween paraphenalia. I took a picture, because, sometimes, I am so vain as to think that my pictures capture "signs from the universe", in addition to reminding me about all that beauty in reality. Photography for me is a discipline - pay attention to the beauty, stalk it, find it even on days without light. If you can't find something beautiful, find something interesting or mysterious or shocking or funny, and then you might be surprized when it pops up on the screen --sometimes it's beautiful as well. Today the swans swam over for a photo op. So I shot them coming and going, up close and far away, making three blue wakes in the orange reflections on the lake. I have to remember what swans represent. Elmer Green in The Ozwakie Book of the Dead says that swans appear to herald a transition to a higher state of awareness. Anyway, that's what I would like to think he said. So what woould a white cat on Halloween mean? This is always where I get in trouble, around the interpretations. It's a good thing I have resources to call uon. Trick and treating has started in earnest- my big grown up children the last batch, in search of costumes for a party tonight.

Magnolias

I'm writing in the wrong box because I can't call up a template from the archives to copy. Oh well.

I promised my feet that I would appear in "public" today. My feet have been hurting for three years and they responded positively to this promise. I could not let them down, since they can make my life miserable if they aren't pleased. I'm copying this from the yellow legal pad I've been using for my musings.

I live in a self created, trauma precipitated box of fear. This is my first attempt to operate outside of the box, and, of course, my little mind is busy predicting shame and humiliation -( I can't forget that there is a possibility that someone will be able to relate to this material, and like it and find it helpful in their journey, but I do) This is why following a gut feeling for people who have been traumatized is insane. Their gut feelings stop them from trying anything new, speaking out etc. Their guts are only listening to station FEAR. all terror, all day, all night. That distorts perception and creates a "reality" that looks threatening, rather than a reality that is neutral with a variety of possibilities. Some of us respond to the threatening reality we have created with dissociation, invisibility and silence, while others get angry, and act out with righteous justification for unloving behavior.

The photos remind me, and hopefully you, that there is astonishing beauty all around us. Paying attention to beauty is a discipline for people like me, who are tuned to channel FEAR, hence the magnolias and the sky.

Dawn across the street

Montreal next to the Queen Elizabeth

The center of town

fountains are for drinking fresh water

Shadows reflections bridge darkness light