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January 19, 2006

Perfect!

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Mercy, mercy imagine JUST when all those republicans are being indicted, JUST as Our President's popularity is sinking into the black hole of Calcutta, JUST as there are murmurs of presidential impeachment.... why, out of the blue, ta da...a , comes a decidedly ominous tape, scratchy and garbled with the voice of Osama bin Laden, himself, threatening to get us with unspeakable acts of terrorism. I'm absolutely sure that the authenticity of this tape has been thoroughly checked, because none of the networks would want to fall in the Rather Trap again.

After all, the CIA has been wrong recently. Why, just look at that bombing in the village in Pakistan. It was days and days before we found out that there were really FOUR dangerous Al Qaeda operatives killed in the raid, not just innocent civilians....that the whole incident wasn't a dreadful mistake, a waste, a travesty against the civilians of Pakistan. What a relief.

But I'm scared. I'm supposed to be scared, especially if I live in the Midwest where the terrorists are really gonna get me.

I always knew Our President was wiretapping for good reasons. I think Google should release everybody's search terms to him. I don't mind if they know who I call on my cellphone, I'M not doing anything wrong. Toss that Constitution - we are talking about BEING SAFE here!

Surely, this is no time, this red alert, this heart stopping moment, this verbal encounter with the enemy, to question Our President. I really, really need him to protect me now. So just shut up all you traitorous critics.

Pardon me for being shrill -- it's a woman thing you know.

Addendum: I wrote this before I heard that Osama had made a truce offer at the end of the tape. Then I had second thoughts -- but Mr. Cheney thinks it was just a ploy, and, of all people, he should know a ploy when he sees one.

Photo note: I was saving this photograph for an avian flu commentary -- many thanks to the folks at Disney, who drew the poster, which I shot through my dirty windshield.

Posted by Dakota at January 19, 2006 03:48 PM