October 09, 2004
Why I Missed Part of the Debate
Out galavanting last night (crone for partying). The occasion was a double bachlorette party in honor of two brides who are getting married this month - to one another.
The original plan was to have high tea at the Four Seasons, but that was scrapped due to scheduling problems. Instead we landed in The Enormous Room , (so "in" that it has no sign, just an elephant stenciled on a glass door, you have to know about it) where we lay prone on platforms covered with oriental carpets and ate Moroccan food from an Enormous Shared Platter full of succulents. Unfortunately, EVERY succulent on the platter contained onions in one form or another, to which one of our guests of honor is allergic. Knowing that this was a momentous occasion, the sweet staff went elsewhere to provide us with onion-free sustenance.
The waitstaff, by the way, was gorgeous -- more than an adequate substitute for a stripper, which we might have hired had we been crass. They immediately asked us for ID, thus alerting us to the fact that little old ladies were a phoenomenon rarely seen in the space.
As to the celebration itself, one of us had the idea to ask men of her acquaintance for advice they might give someone who is marrying a woman. Unfortunately, she asked her obnoxious, narcissistic brother-in-law first, and his answer was so obnoxious and narcissistic that she abandoned the project altogether. Those of us with husbands speculated on what they might have said - ie providing the correct answer to the trick question "Does this dress make me look fat?" and "Always listen to the woman", which is much more difficult in a same sex relationship.
One of us reminded the to-be-weds that it is often difficult for brides stay present at their own weddings, due to hulabaloo and the greeting of out of town guests, and offered tips to stay grounded.
We heard the story of their courtship, and told our own, gave them edible underpants (which seem to be made from fruit roll-ups, icky sticky) and other acoutrements that might serve to spice up a twenty year relationship. We left when we heard that The Enormous Room didn't have decaf - which just confirms the age of the usual crowd.
Rising from the platform to depart, stiff after two hours prone on plywood, was arduous for all of us. Noone whispered "They"re leaving now" -- at least we coudn't hear them over the acid music and the Red Sox.
We reconvened at a nearby coffeehouse, where we noticed an inordinate number of attractive middle-aged men, alone, staring at their laptops of a Friday evening. Since this is of absolutely no use to any one of us, we will pass along the information to all of our straight single friends.
And that folks, is why I missed half of the debate. I thought Kerry was as good as he was on Tuesday, and Bush, somewhat better. I was really impressed by the the questions from the audience, and loved some of the peevish, disbelieving, bored expressions on their faces while Bush obfiscated. I also liked the woman in the audience who wore the tee with the red stripes and the white stars on a field of blue. Very MO wardrobe choice.
I hope that Kerry's joke about being one of the three people in the room who will have their tax cuts reversed, and his intense eye to eye contact with the monitor promising not to raise taxes for anyone making under $200,000, made a difference, since tax cuts seem to be the primary reason some selfish idiots are voting for Bush, in spite of the fact that they disagree with him on every other premise. Here's Wonkette's blow by blow, which is forty times more entertaining than anything I can describe, or what really happened.
I did manage to stay awake long enough to do my part to skew the post debate polls. These were accurately reported on NPR this morning, much to my satisfaction.
Photo note: Bridal shot, double.