July 05, 2004
A picture of my thoughts
This morning on my constitutional I was pleased to note that I now can bear to be with my own thoughts. Most of my life has been spent in a mad rush away from the contents of my brain, which were heavily were packed in shame and self loathing. (and that doesn't even take the unconscious material into consideration).
I used to bat my thoughts away, like large, menacing insects, mainly using literature as a fly swat. I read many a book in my day while avoiding their sting. In fact, until recently, I was never without a book, I had one on my person at all times. There was a book in my backpack, in my bike basket, at my bedside, on my kitchen table, at my computer, at my office, and in the tape player of my car just in case I would it need it to combat an unsettling thought of my own. On the bright side, I did get quite a bit of reading done in my day. Of course, not all of it was uplifting. The careful-consideration-of-a-painful-death was one of my favorite genres, pre meditation, pre Abraham-Hicks .
Photo note: From my prop collection, I have unearthed these exquisite little bamboo insects, purchased in Thailand , and given to me by a person all too familiar with my penchants. The ibuprofen is to suggest scale, and add perfect accent color. This photo makes me long for a camera with better close up possibilities.
Posted by Dakota at July 5, 2004 07:20 AM