February 02, 2004
the cheat sheet
Did everyone get their Starbucks ordering manual with the Sunday paper? As far as I'm concerned, it's fourteen years too late. In it, they even address the issue "If you're nervous about ordering, don't be ---There's no "right way to order at Starbucks. Just tell us what you want and we'll get it to you. "
"But if we call your drink back in a way that's different from what you told us, we're not correcting you. [that's a relief] We're just translating your order into 'barista-speak'- a standard way our baristas call out orders. [Does everyone know what a barista is?] This language gives the baristas the info they need in the order they need it, so they can make the drink as quickly and efficiently as possible"
You mean like when the waitress in the diner calls "Two over easy with a side of piggies"? It's somehow not the same experience.
There is a form on the back page of the booklet to fill in , detach and carry with you at all times. ."My drink is ... .....I'd like to have a.........
cup -leave blank if you're getting it to go ______________
decaf, #of shots and size____________________________
syrup, if any______________________________________,
milk and other modifiers [modifiers!] - don't specify a milk if you want whole milk_____________________________________________
the drink itself_____________________________________."
Please feel free to print this out for persoonal use.
Just in case you didn't grasp the concept clearly, a simple example is provided "Iced, decaf, triple grande, cinnamon, non-fat, no-whip, mocha" I shall have to try it.
If you have filled in your card properly, you can ostensibly avoid embarassment at the register (in front of all the addicted yuppies), that is, if you can pronounce "ristretto" properly. I notice that they have failed to translate the syrup flavors into "barista-speak"-- vanille, chocolotta, framboise, perhaps they are subtly encouraging us to use syrup, or it's a massive oversight.
The booklet is seventeen pages long, so I simply can't quote the whole thing. But it made me feel so much more comfortable anticipating my next Starbucks experience.
I am reminded of an answer my son gave years ago to the question on the Starbucks employment application "What does coffee mean to you?" He said "It's deep and black, like the ravages of my soul." He's never made it to barista, perhaps it's his Italian accent. Too bad, I hear the health insurance is great.