January 25, 2004
HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am triggered -- I am insane again for the stupidest reason -- my hair --I cannot stand it when I get a cut like this. I rushed my sweet hairdresser (thirty miles away, so repairs are most inconvenient) because of that stupid movie, and now I have this THING I will have to deal with for months--- HHHHHHHHATE---I experience this insanity, around two things; my hair, and my bushes - both about being cut, badly. Perhaps early intrusion? Whatever the etiology, I have to find a better thought. Where do I want to be, other than insane, out of control, raging, homocidal, suicidal? That didn't improve my thought. My hair will grow back. It can be fixed. I will have to drive another sixty miles at an incovenient time. This will help my stupid preoccupation with my hair. Let it go, don't pay attention. I have to go to a brunch . Take my spirit and energy to the party. Do not spiral down to the depths of self hatred and shame. It's a chance for self exploration. Lucky me.
And besides, next weekend with my Psychomotor Group and Al Pesso has been cancelled. What fates intervene to destablilze. I love my Psychomotor group which has been meeting for twenty five years. It is one of the most valued things in my life, but I am not nearly as upset about it's cancellation, as I am about my hair. That gives me an indication of the extent of my hair neurosis.
Photo note: This is as close as I could come in my archives to the essence of my haircut. It was added later when my sense of humor returned, because what I wrote about IS NO JOKE!
Posted by Dakota at January 25, 2004 10:29 AM