December 17, 2003
more trauma -the victim and the perpetrator
A perpetrator is a person who projects his yucky feelings onto others, and feels relief, maybe mixed with a little guilt, but not enough to stop the action. Often a perpetrator will rationalize his actions, "women are asking for it by dressing the way they do, the child needs to learn a lesson and deserves a beating, it will be a good thing for the child to learn about sex fom me, that ethnic group did my ethnic group wrong, so they deserve to die."
A victim is the target of the yucky feelings, and introjects the perpetrator's feelings, taking them inside and thinking the feelings are emanating from him.
A good example can be found in the typical rape. The rapist has a feeling: anxiety, powerlessness, shame, rage, inadequacy, which we all know are uncomfortable. The rapist finds a solution by acting out these feelings, projecting them onto a victim by committing a rape. The rapist feels relieved and can go home and relax, read the paper.
The victim, on the other hand, who, before the rape might have been just fine, now feels helplessness, shame, guilt, and thinks the violent energy transfer that just took place is her fault. She tells herself "I shouldn't have worn a red dress, I shouldn't have been out after dark" etc. She also feel dirty, slimed, terrified, ashamed, at fault, like she deserved the assault.
We know that an energy transfer takes place when there is "perpetrator intent" in the interaction. For example, there is sexual perversion called frotteur which involves bumping into others in crowded places, with a sexual intent. Ask anyone who rides the subway if they can tell the difference between a regular bump and a frotteured one. It's pretty darn clear, though the external physical events are the same. That's an energy transfer.
Victims have a few choices. Many of them get stuck in the trauma. see trauma rap, They can go into psychotherapy and try to process their experience, make meaning of it , heal from it, a costly and arduous task. OR, and here's the malignant thing, they can get rid of their terrible feelings by becoming a perpetrator themselves. Sometimes the perpetrator's feelings are unconscious, and he or she is obscessed by an urge to act out. This is a dangerous kind of unconsciousness. Sometimes the victim feels justified in becoming a perpetrator, as in ethnic cleansing.
We can see this in the Catholic church. Just how many of the priests arrested for child molestation do you think were molested as children themselves? About 100%. Probably 85% by priests. It is chilling to think how institutionalized this practice became.
Posted by Dakota at December 17, 2003 09:08 AM